Black Inspirations

Is it over???In life we all come to the point when we have been so plunged to the ground that everything that mattered is left way behind. If you haven’t felt that way let me talk about me…I was at my lowest point emotionally. I felt so emotionally drained to the point that in me it could get no better. On the surface I was ok, but in reality I was emotionally hemorrhaging and it was being to take a toll on me physically. I was always tired, my eyes continuously ached (I know we can relate to those stress aches; the inter eye down to the nostrils) and I could not mentally retain anything. This went on for a time frame that I am unable to calculate but can say that it was a long time. The turning point for me was when NOTHING MATTERED. And that term is not used loosely. I can say that at that point I could care less about anything. Then I knew that something was truly wrong. I began to brainstorm and often the process by which this occurs is when I write everything that comes to mind (no matter what it is) on paper. After that, I re-read the paper and attempt to transform my random thoughts in to a poem. (This can be found on my flash drive under my ever so roaming mind) One of the phrases on the paper was a well known scripture and an ideology that my mother instilled in us to live by; God does not give you anything that you can not bear. Once this was brought back to my remembrance, it became my fight, a fight to survive, both physically and spiritually. Some questions that I asked myself were; if you left this World today what would be said about you? Is life as you know it so bad that you would be ok with leaving this world today? Is God at all satisfied with your witness thus far? Are you ok with living this lie? In reality I was being untrue to myself and allowing ME to hold ME down. I knew that I was fooling everyone around me and most importantly I was fooling myself. How can one express happiness and hate life as we know it. It’s funny because not until now did I realize that I stopped trusting, I stop believing, I gave up on me and I gave up on God. It was a question that was asked during a bible study once they asked: Have you ever given up on God? I answered never. I never stopped trusting and never gave up on my FAITH. I did, I have but I say, never again. We must know and understand that we all learn from experiences and the knowledge of those who came before us. (There is nothing new under the sun) We must take everything that we learn and treat it as if it is a training video, training you to become a better person and a wonder human being. Believe in yourself, trust your judgment and continue to grow fully from experiences and the knowledge of others wiser than yourself. If ever it comes a time where you just don’t know, trust that there is someone who is capable and willing to HELP YOU. You are not out here alone.So NO it can’t be over…You’re still here aren’t you?? Peace and LoveB. Michaele

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